look back forward rock on a boat in venice, italy

something magical happens every time i visit this floating dream called Venice, Italy. the first time i

visited i was 24 travelling europe by myself and contemplating societal expectations around my age, pressures for marriage, children,careers; things i wanted but did not seem to fit with my life, or what i felt inside .  i was sitting on a boat taking me from the mainland to a small island called murano where the most gorgeous glass is handmade.  my birthday was coming up and i was reflecting on my how old i was turning.       ( in the picture above, shop owner raphael contemplates why he loves murano glass!)

on the way to the island, i caught my reflection in the window of the boat, with the light beaming off the crystal blue sparkling water and for a second, it looked so soft, so full of this immaculate indescribable light of venice, i felt i was looking at my self through a whole new lens.

(there is an uncanny quality to the light in italy in general, all encompassing, one feels part of it, as if we are each a ray belonging directly to the round body of this life giving star we call the sun).

a miracle/opening happened for me in this life-changing moment. i only remember feeling genuinely i was  not turning 25, instead i was turning 5 years old! it was a strange sensation because there was nothing fictious about it.  my body had a deep memory of turning this age and the excitement that was ahead of me. i realized i had a lifetime ahead and life was starting over. my linear sense of time became an illusion and what awoke was the ever ellusive quality of time one feels when we are living fully in the present moment.

now turning…5 years old, meant i could decide to be, do, live, what the child in me never had a voice to do, or the money, or the authority. what a gift! the adult could now become the child, give life, anima, animate what my soul yearned to do….

beauty arose that special afternoon, on a boat ride to murano. in a fleeting moment, water and light helped me forget my past and kissed me on the eyes. i could see my self as beautiful for the first time…

-lisa in life-loving places

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