it is there for us as a clear message that there is something we must look at, accept, luv, cure and consequently transform. this is a creative action!
yesterday, i went through a painful episode with my partner andrea, on a road filled with cars and air pollution. i was riding a wobbly bike and he was flying way ahead of me without consideration that i was following him to get to a tattoo place we both had never been quite out of the city centre of Florence. i got really upset with him and feelings of abandonment came over me. what i realized was that these feelings came from a deeper place. there were a few incidences as a child where i got lost and felt an overwhelming fear of being abandoned by my parents. well it must have been stored in my body and yesterday popped up for me to release it. not only did i release it bursting into tears but with new, clear perspectives on my life goals and vision of myself as the co-collaborator with the Source of all creation: the Source of Love, which would never abandon anyone! wow! what a great revelation! the fear of being abandoned as child had to reveal itself to me to feel the tru power and glory of a love that will never abandon me, nor anyone!
in the midst of this highly trafficated road, is a haven of trees, really an enormous park filled with beautiful varieties of plants and trees and we enter and immedietly i begin to breathe easier and feel my connection with my Source return. As we climb a huge stone staircase that has an Egyptian statue on one side, suddenly a large green snake falls out of a tree and slides rapidly down the stairs back into the garden. We both scream and begin to laugh hysterically… i open my purse and i have a c.d. of Max Gazze called “The Fable of Adam and Eve” there is a naked man and woman with a snake spiralled around a tree, then in the centre of this park we find a spiralling staircase that brings us up to a tiny platform. it is absurd. i feel like i am in a Dali painting. i bring out this c.d. and suddenly also feel i am eve having bitten the apple to KNOW my state with God and know the state of falling out of being with god: to know good and bad. i put the c.d. down in the middle of this platform and start dancing like an indian around it. it just feels so sacred there is nothing else to do…(did i mention andrea is getting an aboriginal tatto in the shape of a spiral).
the story of adam and eve has a simple and profound truth: man and woman were once with god in the garden. we knew our ONESS WITH ALL GOOD. at some point we as a conciousness fell of the grace of god literally by feeling separated and abandonded… however god did not do this to us as indicated in the bible. i mean, eve was not evil for having bit from the tree of knowledge. we, as god, did it to ourselves inorder to create! to remember, to return to our oness through our willingness to choose that which is good that which is better so that we may become aware beings. if we were one with god, already in “paradise” there would be no friction, no need to create anything… therefore even pain is part of the friction that gives us our creative urge! our creative urge is a natural one, is our gift by nature!
i am realizing i feel greatest joy by simply listening to my nature without fearing the consequences of fully expressing myself. thus i become open to change and creation by letting my inate self come alive. as a performing artist, i am willing to open my conciousness to the uncomfortable feelings that come with change and creation… even the pain that arises . it can come in the form of a head ache, neck, shoulder back pain, stomach problems. it can also come in the form of tension in relatioships. either way, it is a growth opportunity, an opportunity to learn and therefore a blessing. which is why we need to be grateful for even the so-called bad stuff.
as i mentioned on my latest blog, i have been feeling tension that is closing up my throat and ability to sing! incredible! in this park, we carried on to find a big empty stage with another staircase leading high up into the air where i could walk right over the stage on a railed-platform. as i was feeling a little wobbly once again high up in the air, i began to speak out, ” i am afraid of my talents. i dont know how to be unafraid of these talents given to me. i am afraid to express myself” i even let out a roar like a lion, climbed my way back down and we silently left this incredible haven of trees, snakes, spirallying staircases, egyptian and roman statues and a terracotta ampitheatre. an inner peace began to stir around this issue of revealing myself infront of people.
i am learning that pain can be possibile resistance emerging from old parts of myself that are not so inclined into growing into the person my soul has designed for me to be. call it soul, spirit, or just higher knowledge but that intuitive voice deep down that knows and is guiding all of us towards our best lives, our best ways to be helpful and useful in this world.
on the road to fulfilling our highest good, we will confront what thoughts/beliefs/ emotions that have held us back. this can be super uncomfortable. but as we grow in awareness we are able to accept the discomforts, and feel we have the power to change inorder to release what doesn’t feel good. what is no longer in alignment with our new levels of conciousness, our new desires, the new needs of the world. the world is changing and inevitably so are we.
pain can be an indicator that we are holding on to a belief that is out of harmony with a fundamental truth: we are ALL ONE with the Source of the Universe that is the source of all GOOD! yesterday, and there have been other occasions, i had to face the feeling of abandonment and seperation to feel deeply this oneness this unity with all that is good! this is AWE-INSPIRING! it is the greatest gift i can ever ask for…. i trust it because i know i am here to be aware of what is eternal within me! and what is eternal within me feels so so so peaceful and good.
life is asking us to give ourselves permission to feel new levels of goodness, new levels of sensitivity and awareness of the vitality force running through our bodys: the real joy that has no opposite.
so in the meantime i invite everyone to embrace the discomforts, be WILLING to recognize what and where they come from, and have the courage to let them go, to transform them with our ability to take responsibility for the way we want to live, feel, act, be! for the lives we know we are meant for! Recognize and Redirect! Return to your soul’s desires by returning your attention towards that which u luv! here is max gazze singing for us, listen and enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y08n4tyVIgU.
THANKYOU UNIVERSE FOR MY LESSONS! I AM LEARNING TO LUV MYSELF MORE AND MORE EACH DAY!
may the healing spirit, the creative force, be with everyone on our journey into expressing the sacred tone of love…ahhh i luv u lisa says my highest self~ 😉