this time i fell off my bike and burst into tears. like a child, i let it all go out instead of like an adult sucking it all up. a man on a scooter stopped and asked to help me. i cried ” i need a hug and get me off this street”. he lifted me up and i just began sobbing saying ” Grazie mille! ” over and over and over. i could not stop saying thankyou;… my whole body was tremoring from fear, from release, from oneness and from gratitude. a few others came and a very comforting, generous woman grabbed a chair and sat me down in her “forno” what we call a bakery and gave me a bottle of water. and over and over and over i was sobbiing and crying ” Grazie mille.”
and she responded as any good sense-filled person would.. ” its the fear .e stata la paura. ur fine don’t worry it was just the fear of the fall . it is all well. your fine. relax! all is well! ”
a young african man with a little girl in a baby carriage also stopped while gesturing with his hands over his eyes, and said ” stop crying. its ok.”
i am just tring to imagine the image of a young woman crying a flood of tears and at the same time repeating ” Thankyou a thousand times” over and over would seem riduculous right?
well the effect had the contrary. i like so much that on this soul journey uv mine, i am learning a thing or two about contraries. contrast. opposite sides of the same coin. u see, where there is an extreme of anything, there is the flip-side just waiting to be known. lets look at this in physical terms. newton’s law of motion says that ” To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction: or the forces of two bodies on each other are always equal “. i am going further here to use this physical principle to illuminate a spiritual truth, that where ever there a strong energy/emotion there is its equal opposite on flip-side. so where there is a strong degree of hate/ there is the opportunity for a strong degree of love. where there is a strong degree of fear/ there is a potential for a strong degree of faith…. which always leads us back into the inevitable power uv luv… so all in ONE, my fear uv death ( the fall), in reaction with my appreciation of being alive (my faith) seemed to work like magic on all uv us; lifting the cloud off seemingly hardened faces i had seen in the neighborhood ( including my own?)… people continued to walk into the bakery and order bread one after the other and i could sense there was luv in the room; this baking woman, a total stranger who was mothering me; a young woman, tears pouring down her face but succulently gratefully alive after having what could have left me feeling potentially rather pissed off…..
i was heading to a very exciting interview at a fun, professional, full uv anima workplace….. i called andrea to tell him simply that another golden rule my dad always told me came into play ” Fresh rain is slippery because the streets are filled with oil from cars. water and oil do not mix and is easy to slip. dont ride your bike after a fresh rain” well you know dad thanks this time your right! tadum my bike just slipped by itself. but i admit my mind was not exactly on what or rather (in) what i was doing. how often are we not fully aware of where we are in the moment? fully in our bodies looking , feeling, breathing, really being alive where we are? our minds luv to be 2 steps ahead or sadly … 10 thousand steps behind…. and NOW, that which IS, are we HERE? are we inhabiting our MOMENT FULLY? and then moments such as these AWAKEN US. my absent mind retreated, my conciousness BEING, a mind in all parts of my body, RETURNS.
i went home feeling so light. i was feeling my body, even though it ached, i understood the value of it: my heart is wide open, my feet that bring me here and there are rooted into the earth, my ribs that expand to let in air are spiralling back and forth. i am such a miracle. we are all so utterly magnificent.
u see, because my knee is sore and i must use it less, my feldenkrais knowledge immediatley kicks in and so i begin to use the contortion of my ribs a lot more to literally lift the pressure of the weight of my upper body off my knee and begin to use the push of my feet into the earth to get the force from below the knee…. soooooo I AM ACTULLY FUNCTIONING more EFFICIENTLY after this fall. once again to the genious nervous system, ” GRAZIE MILLE!” my new tights are ripped open at the knee but who cares? Grazie mille for me. for this body that holds all this moving life…. i just want to slow my mind down and take it- life, me ( we are one remember?) allllll in and the only expression running from my luving lips is GRAZIE MILLE. thankyou a thousand times.
heres a fresh oldie ahahahahahaah! i luv this singer! she rocks it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBQmGE3f9bQ&feature=related