i am cooking a simple dish for the first time in a few weeks. one of my favorites. it is pure, essential and absolutely traditional. linguini con pomodori fresci. fresh tomatoes cooked in a stir fry of delicious olive oil, garlic and carrots.
i luv this meal. i eat it often.
i returned from stunning morocco to be stunned with a bout of travellor’s sickness and consequently with no choice of my own, a good 2 weeks of practically no tolerance of anything accept plain white rice and crackers and bananas.
in every down turn, there is always an equivalent surprising sweet spiralling upwards reality to be known if we let ourselves go there.
my lesson from god this week came very discreetly and even magicallly.
in my very weak state of being, literally in bed, going to the bathroom and back to bed — i decided i would not miss my singing class. nope not for the world.
so i took the train to the next town to visit one of the most incrdible women i know to have my singing lesson despite my physical weakness.
i showed up at her door ” lisa u look really tired . what happened? ” i explained and also told her that for sure i would not be able to sing but i came anyways.
to my total surprise, i began producing my voice in a much better sound than i had previously. what? what is going on. ive been sick in bed …
well what i learned through our conversation and excerises together was that i had given up the “effort”. i literally just “gave up” the need to try and found a very quiet, still place to be in my body. my body was just totally relaxed because i was just to tired to produce any tension.
my teacher says” perfect. this is exactly the state u need to stay in to work. here is where we can begin. this is your neutral state. you have arrived. can you feel it? ”
“yes i can feel it. i am not doing anything.”
well my grand discovery is by not doing anything, (allowing myself to relax) i am able to call upon just the right muscles i need to get the job done and not anymore.
as a fluke, i embody the total philosophy of feldenkrais; less is more; to release unwanted muscle contractions and have the awareness to call upon those needed for the desired result.
this is the state of a mature being. having the abiltiy to choose. having the awareness to make changes that assist us towards a higher quality of living.
she comes over and gives me a big hug and says quietly, ” congratulations, you did it. this is a big shift forward for you! here we have a blank canvas. here we can build your voice.”
i am learning. i am learning. i am teaching and i am learning. this is a blessing.
so today, as my stomach feels great, i am eating my first plate of pasta after this profoundly transformative experience and a deep revelation passes my mind;
the world just keeps producing the same results when we look for the approval of our parents, of past generations, to live the life we want right now. if we do.not go forward and explore the nowness of our lives, we are always going to recreate the same experiences as before.
this is good when it comes to a traditional plate of pasta, but not so good when the earth is asking us humans to evolve. to go forward, we must empty ourselves of the past, we must fill ourself with the potential of what and where our biological process is taking us.
i am drinking clean water with a quarter grapefruit juice. i feel fresh in the mind and in my belly. good.