here is a simple idea-
when there is an uncomfortable situation, u know, someone, something makes u feel icky and u would luv to just make it dissapear,ACCEPT IT INTERNALLY. the inner resistance u hold inside, KEEPS THE ILLUSION in tact; gives YOUR POWER over to someone else, somewhere else.the other night, while using my voice for a performance, i began to feel blocked, judged, unappreciated by an internal masculine voice i
have felt throughout my life in times i have tried to express myself creatively. this is a painful feeling. i LUV TO SING and dance and write and BE MYSELF and when i feel this inner block move through my body, i am aware that the unapproving, judging, critical voice lived throughout different stages of life has come for a little dance with my inner power.
the background goes like this: my grandfather did not give my mom permission to take dance when she was small. this story always makes me sob. my mom has shared it with me a few times always, with total acceptance and forgiveness. she says ” those were the times lisa. he didn’t know any better. there was just NO VALUE to any artistic expression for an italian immigrant who had come to canada to be rich and secure. inside i crumble, i actually hated him for this. my dear sweet mom, who pumps her c.d.s in the kitchen while cooking for us, always making my dad dance with her if only for one song. my mom is a dancer . inside her body, i feel her soul speak to me most when she sings and dances.
there is a part of me that internalized this oppressive non-acceptance to my DESIRE TO SING AND DANCE. there is a deep grained belief that it is somehow crazy to want to sing and dance and say all the things i feel inside. there is a false power i have given to an unconcious pattern of oppression of the divine feminine. i am awakening to it. i am appreciating it as well. i have listened to u all my life. i have undervalued my artistic expression all my life. i have given away my gifts, my talent, my light for dimes and nickels.
thankyou, but NOW it is your time to LISTEN to me because I LUV. i luv and i ACCEPT and I CREATE. it is simple and it is holy. we can transform a total history of repressed divinity by an internal YES. rather than being hardened by what has been done against your wisdom, instead let the difficult situation/person be transformed by your inner acceptance. u soften inside and consequently recieve genuine strength, genuine power to be aware. where there is fear, there is opportunity. there is fuel for the fire-
when we act fearful, we are simply recipricating that which we unconciously condemn. when we LISTEN to our FEAR we give ourselves the power of freedom- freedom from fear- we give fear a chance to move.
dance with your fear; it will luv u for it.
my conciousness is shifting again; i am lifting up and out of fear; physically speaking, i feel in my chest a gradual softening from what has been a long time a hard shield. there is a new awareness; it is telling me to ACCEPT the parts of my shadow with LUVING LIGHT and BE PRESENT with ALL THAT IS. this feels courageous to me. i am becoming aware that alot of things scare me and downright piss me off. good, anger is a healthy response towards injustice, but if it begins to implode, we BECOME the unconciousness that we are angered by…we females have become hardened; i feel the need for the egg shell to crack open; sometimes i just let myself cry, cry, cry to return to the wholeness my innerbody is capable of; my inner seeing and feeling, truly a gift from the divine, which with tears is alway returned back to me in moments of forgetfullness.
u see, the personal freedom everyone is seeking can only be experienced internally and then BRING forward this internal freedom externally. the blocks we feel, the people who make us feel fearful, we have created ourselves and can liberate ourselves- not by fighting the fear, the tension, insecurities etc, but by totally bringing your eternal I AM presence to it. CRY if u need to, u will find yourself held in the arms of your own conciousness. wherever conciousness is brought, light is endowed upon dark matters and here NOW, there is an opportunity for real change.
i leave u with a few questions to contemplate:
what today must u say internally yes to inorder to free, liberate and release?
when do u feel whole? physically what does this feel/look like for u? which parts of your body can u feel vibrantly alive? which parts are closed? where are u inviting life? where are u resisitng it?
blessings from above, blessings from below, and more importanly…
NOW IS NOW!