I Am Telling the Truth
By Ronna Detrick
Self-love is something we hear about all the time. And we feel pressure to do it—all the time, perfectly, proficiently. In fact, even this week’s chapter title says “Getting Good at it Self-Love and Self-Acceptance.” But pressure is not consistent with self-love, whether self- or other-imposed. Rather, it comes through grace—and permission, time and patience.
Some of you must have heard the verses before: “Love is patient, love is kind… It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (from 1 Corinthians 13).
This week, practice grace. Give yourself permission. Offer yourself time. Extend yourself patience. These are the nourishment and sustenance of ever-growing self-acceptance and self-love; of telling and living your truth.
First, in writing:
Fill in the blanks. Write for as long as words come. No editing. No censoring. For your eyes only.
(i followed the instructions and filled this out for myself to see only and i was happily suprised! have fun and let whatever comes out come out!!!!)
1) If I extended myself endless patience and kindness, I would feel __________.
2) If I were to let go of my internal record-keeping, the laundry list of all that I’ve done wrong, and all the places in which I feel inferior, sub-par, or less-than, I would feel ____________.
3) If I were to be ever-so still and listen for my own internal voice, the one that existed before the irritating ones took over, I would hear these words: __________.
4) If I were to do or say whatever I wanted, whatever I felt—no ramifications or risks —I would do/say ____________.
These unedited, uncensored words and feelings are your truth.
Second, in words and actions:
Pay attention to the gap between what you’ve written and what you actually do/say; even how others experience you. Then, slowly and kindly commit to even the smallest of adjustments you can make, right now, to move into the spaciousness and beauty of your truth.
Nothing sweeping or mammoth (necessarily). The slightest shift. A different conversation. A vulnerable act. One tiny, risky move.
Third, in truth:
These steps may seem too tiny to even bother with. Such miniscule, incremental changes… But don’t listen to those voices. They are lying to you. You know the truth. And that truth—your truth—is your path to self-love and self-acceptance.
As you take them, as you walk more and more fully in your truth, self-love and self-acceptance radiate from within.
All of us gasp when you enter the room. And all the voices that ever told you anything different fall silent.
I’m telling the truth.
Actionable Idea for This Week
This is many of the wonderful exercises included in this week’s Full Adventure chapter. This specific one was created for you by writer, coach and therapistJackie Walker.
WRITE: Describe Your Inner Critic
This is one of the exercises Jackie Walker shared with members in our Vision Interview. I reallyLOVED this exercise!
I have two favorites for negative dialogue, both are well practiced! I like to name the voices, they’re all different and I swear I had a whole clan of Scottish marauders in my head at one time; it was very noisy!
This wee wifey was my favorite—she was called Jeannie. She lived on the moor, wore a tweed skirt which came below her knees, her husband’s kilt socks, and she had a headscarf keeping her wild hair out of the way. It still managed to escape when she got all excitable!
Jeannie would squawk at me about knowing my place in life, about daring to be different. Didn’t I know what happened to people like me, I’d be damned and burned. She was a great Scot!
I used to chat with Jeannie, I’d bring her out onto the desk (or wherever) in front of me and we’d chat. She’d tell me she was just concerned, dearie. I’d ask for more about where her concerns came from and she’d tell me some awful stories. She got used to explaining the problems to me and having a voice and one day she stopped visiting. Her job was done.
Start to name the different voices, give them shape and form, bring them out to talk to, and listen to their concerns. Learn what might be useful and tell them how things are different for you now. Thank them for their help.
Now describe your own inner critic. Give her name a name. Personify her just like Jackie Walker personifies her inner critic as “Jeannie, the Scotswoman.”
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYBODY! HAPPY SAN VALENTINO! AND KEEP LUVING U CAUSE ITS THE BEST THING U CAN DO FOR THE WORLD 🙂 as good lucille said it,
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball